July 31, 2005

DVD Must Haves and a Lame Excuse

THE JAY - 11:47 p.m.

So because I'm such a jackass and went on a road trip this weekend, I completely forgot the end of the month blog deadline. We here at AvsJ try to bring you something new at least once a month, something fresh, and if we can manage it, something funny. But I basically dropped the ball on July. So much went down in the 07 that I neglected our poor little blog.

Since it's late in the night and August is almost upon us I don't have the time to create something new out of thin air. And since A-Train and I are not fighting about any thing crucial or in particular right now, I'm fresh out of witty retorts for my toe-headed friend.

So instead of giving you any more of my lame excuses, I'm gonna give you a peek at an column that I just had published by my good friends over at Hungry Student Magazine. They commisioned my to write a piece on the DVD's that every college student MUST HAVE, and a happily concocted my list. So for now, enjoy the piece, and as soon as I come up for air, I promise something a bit better that written reruns.

A DVD FOR ALL SEASONS

By: The Jay

So picture this: you and your boys (or girls, whichever the case may be) are pre-partying for a night on college town, but the stereo is broken. So you throw on a movie to get pumped up. What are you gonna put on? You could put on a Rocky movie, but that would just make everyone wanna go work out. Maybe you could try something like Friday, but then someone’s gonna be carrying and then no one is leaving the apartment. So what do you do? You drop in Old School, of course! And before Frank the Tank is doing his “one”, your crew is ready for a night to remember.

It’s all about the right movie at the right time. And since most college students have so much to worry about (what junk food to buy during finals, what music to illegally download from the dorm computer network, etc.), provided is an all-purpose list for what DVD’s every college student should have for any occasion.

American Pie – For when you want to remember what you left behind.

PCU or Van Wilder – For when you forget where you are right now.

Office Space or Clerks – For when you need to decide what not to do after you graduate.

Swingers – For when it’s time for that spontaneous road trip. Vegas, baby? Indeed, Vegas!

Rounders – Poker Night? Pop it in, press play and deal the cards.

Half Baked – Well… this one is a little obvious.

The Notebook – When you and your date just wanna stay in and rock it, Netflix style. Also, everyone likes this movie, girls and guys. Even the guys that say that don’t.

For guys: Fight Club – It’s testosterone time and you need a fix.

For girls: Bridget Jones’s Diary – It’s estrogen time and you need a fix.

For both: Jerry Maguire – When a couple just can’t decide who gets to choose. Sports movie or chick flick. Why not both? We here at Hungry Student Magazine are for equal opportunity. Bonus points for it being before Tom Cruise went certifiably insane.

The Rules of Attraction – Because hey, at least your school isn’t this screwed up. Or has Dawson as a student.

Garden State – You need to watch this movie, it’ll totally change your life.

Ocean’s Eleven – For when your fraternity, sorority or random assembly of friends decides to do something just this side of stupid, and needs reassurance that there not being stupid. Note: Yes it is stupid, and yes you should still do it anyway.

Mallrats – Finals time and you need to blow off steam by laughing for two straight hours? Jay and Silent Bob will make it all better. Snoogans!

The Star Wars Trilogy – For when it’s totally geek out time… what else are you gonna put on? And no, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy is not the right answer. That’s to put on during a mammoth all night study session when you just want background noise and the occasional “Elijah Wood sucks” joke.

And finally…

The Matrix – Because there’s always time for a little Keanu.

If a situation arises that we haven’t covered, stop, breath and go straight to Pulp Fiction. All answers lie within. It’s all gonna be ok.

Bangarang, Tardy Slacker The Jay!

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