Who likes the sluts? We like the sluts!

THE JAY - 3:59 a.m.

Dude, I never said celebrities are hurt by plastic surgery reports. Seriously. Every actress in Hollywood has had some work done. Not a one can denounce that. Hell, the hubbub over Lohan's wammos are getting her even more pub anyway, if I were her I wouldn't even squash the rumors. Let 'em play out a bit longer. They'll go away on their own, anyway. Since when has the media talked about Britney's ta-tas? It's been like forever in a day, cause we all know they're real. At this point, who cares, right?

And of course no one bought Britney as a virgin. Hell. she was living with Justin at one point. I mean really. What I dig about the Spears Persona is that she gets away with wearing the most revealingly slutty clothes, but isn't branded a slut. Yet Christina is the whore bag of the music world cause she pulls out the skimpies for each video. What has the Aguilera done to deserve such bad press? She ain’t ever had a fake Vegas wedding, she ain’t ever stolen someone's baby daddy, hell, I never even see her in the tabloids. Yet she's the slut and Britney's the innocent one. Outrageous.

But if we're talking about getting under the knife, let's talk about the bad run-ins. I mean have you seen Nicole Kidman's eyebrows? You couldn't pay her to move her forehead. Cause it ain't possible. Hello, botox! Table for two! Then there's Brittany Murphy's crack makeover, Julia's new lips, Angelina's redesigned bumble bees, and worst of all, Tara Reid's newly yeasted flap jacks. I just... you know... just when I was starting to like her again... with the boob job? Just killing all her Scrubs cred!

What's wrong with liking the body you got. It got you where you are to begin with, right? What's the need to shrink wrap, sterilize and sculpt it. Case in point, what red blooded man would choose the super thin, super tan, super leathery 2004 Jennifer Aniston over the first season of Friends, O.G. nose, baby fat, unbelievably hot Rachel Green?

Yeah, argument's over. Point to The Jay.