Why I Hate my Neighbors Upstairs ............... And George Lucas

A-Train - 12:45 a.m.

You wanna know what the worst thing in the world is at 8:00 a.m. on Saturday morning? Your upstairs neighbors vacuuming right over your head. What makes this violation against humanity even worse is that they vacuumed at least three times on the Friday before. Someone upstairs must have OCD. They vacuum all the time. If I vacuum three times a year, I think I'm pretty ahead of the game. I'm actually kinda curious about what gets their place so fucking dirty. Maybe they run a sweatshop out of the apartment and the little workers keep dropping beads or some shit like that. Maybe they film porn up there. Nah, if I can hear the vacuum cleaner, I could certainly hear porn being filmed. Hell, I can hear porn being watched at 100 yards.

And for one more record, the "Can you hear me now?" guy from the Verizon commercials is done with. If I see him on the street, he's a dead man.

George Lucas. What can be said? Does anyone on Earth like him? Show of hands. Anyone? Mrs. Lucas? His kids? Yeah, that's what I thought. Could you imagine what would happen if anyone remade a movie only using different actors and tweaking some scenes a little? You don't have to imagine. It was done. Psycho in 1998. And it sucked balls. Shot frame for frame exactly, and it still sucked balls. The new Star Wars DVDs are nothing short of depressing. One of my favorite scenes is when Luke lands the triple front flip off the plank over the pit, catches the light saber and proceeds to fuck up all of Jabba's shit. Now, there's a huge plant looking thing in the pit. It looks like something out of Little Shop of Horrors. Quit fucking with my fond memories Lucas!

To sum up, here's a brief list of people I'd like to kick in the nuts:
My neighbors upstairs
The Verizon Wireless guy
George Lucas
Chief Justice Rehnquist (simply cause it'd be cool to kick a Supreme Court Justice in the nuts)

Blog's to you,

A-Train