I’ve Lost my Mojo

A-Train - 5:43 p.m.

While our witty banter about the state of the entertainment industry could go back and forth forever, and any of our ideas would be likely to revitalize the industry, I’m gonna take a step away from the industry and move to something a little more personal. Me. Yeah, I’m a selfish bitch, but this is my post and I’ll do what I want with it.

Read the title of the post again, cause it says it all. My mojo is gone and I don’t know what to do. It’s like I’m thirteen years old all over again. Except this time I don’t have the whole bar/bat mitzvah social scene to help out my game. It’s quite depressing, frankly. I haven’t done anything more than casually date in like a year. These days, I don’t even see an end in sight. What happens when life gets like this? Am I just supposed to suck it up?

It’s time to evolve. I said it in a previous post, but I’ve got to learn how to thrive in the bar scene. It’s the only socializing that us twenty-something’s do that could actually yield the results that we’re looking for. However, I’m not going into this blind. I’ve got a guidebook from a very successful guy that I know. Hence forth, I’m putting into effect the “Jason Angel Pick-Up Method”.

“What is the Angel Pick-Up Method?” you ask. Good question. First off, I must say that I’m using a modified model of the Method. The original Method entails dropping your standards to a below sea-level range. This, I’m not willing to do. Fuck that. Anyways, you spot your target from across the bar or what have you, and make the approach. The initial approach is simple. “Wassup?” Or, if you’re pressed for time, a simple “Sup?” will suffice. From there it’s easy; you just ask the girl (or girls) questions. Repeatedly. Questions about anything and everything. What they say is of little real relevance other than the fact that it leads to more questions. And when the girl asks questions about you, your response is of equally little relevance. I’m not a big fan of lying to girls, but get creative with your responses. Don’t be the boring run of the mill guy. “I want you to be the guy in the Rated-R movie. The one you’re not quite sure where he’s coming from.”

It’s time to be a bull with the ladies. Just charge away and figure things out later when the dust settles. Better yet, go at the ladies like a shark. Like a shark named Pepé. “La ola es mia. The wave is mine.” And the truth is that no one really wants to fight the shark, even if they do want to fight for the wave. So, to our seven loyal readers, go forth and be the shark. Make the wave yours. “Cause it’s your dog.”

Blog’s to you,

A-Train